Thursday, March 10, 2011

I Don't Get It. You Must be 21 to Enter

Are we talking porn here? At 16 I can walk down the wine aisle at the grocery store. I can sit at a table where wine is being served in a restaurant. I can go into a Washington State Liquor store. I can even drink wine in my parents' house. I can visit hard-core porn sites without a question asked. But I can't visit a winery website.

I have given career presentations to high school students about job opportunities in the wine industry and what they must do to prepare for them, but these students can't do any research online because they can't visit a winery website. (Sure, right, in your dreams) What attorney's brain fart is this? Who the hell are they trying to fool with this nonsense? What's next, you have to use your credit card for age verification to visit Ste. Mickey's website?

Oh, I get the scenario. "Hey Dude, I'm tired of drinking Buttwiper out of a can. This Friday we are having a party up at the gravel pit. I think I will go to Ste. Mickey's website and check out some table wines. Brad is bringing potato chips, so maybe a nice syrah. I prefer Doritos, so probably a full-bodied cab." (Type, type, type www. "What the F***. I'm only 18, so I can't get on. Oh well, I'll pick up twelve pack of Clydesdale piss at the local minimart."

Does this really make sense? I just logged on the Columbia Crest's website as a person who is 111 years old. Wow, this is really secure age verification. I guess I can't sue them if I get plastered with their wine and trip on my walker. I entered the Snap Dragon Winery web site at 119 years old. I guess they think wine drinkers are getting older.

This is even dumber when you click on a direct link into the website from Google. You can skip the charade about being 111 years old. The test only comes when you enter through the 'home' page.

Want to know how to grow marijuana? Just type 'grow marijuana' and click on the first link. No goofy 'age verification' there. Want to smoke cigarettes? Philip Morris doesn't ask your age. Maybe that's because smokers don't live to be 119.