Friday, February 19, 2010

Rating the Raters (cont.)

The Wine Advocates (Robert Parker, et al) 80/0. I subscribed to this newsletter for a year, but didn't find much, well, news. It was the same old stuff everyone else was rating and a lot of stuff not even available in this area. (Wine country is, how can I say it, in the country, the boonies, where we grow grapes. We are like hick farmers. People in Walla and Woodinville make fine wine. Grow your own grapes and make wine? Nonsense.)

Maybe I should invite Jay Miller to our finest hotel in Zillah Zillah, the Comfort Inn, and wine him and dine him. It seemed to work for Argentina.

It is hard to believe Robert Parker can be so influential in the wine industry to the absurd point that you can submit samples of your wine to a lab and they will tell you how to 'parkerize' it. I don't think it is a big secret - lots of new French oak (up to 200%), overripe fruit, low (soft?) tannins, and high alcohol. Varietal character? What's that? Aren't' all wines supposed to taste alike?

This newsletter is for collectors, like my friend Jake who collects steaks. He has steaks from all over the world. Steaks from Kobe beef from Japan, Chianina beef from Italy, grass-fed beef from Montana, and grain-fed beef from Kansas. (No beef from the Harris Ranch in California.) He doesn't collect any ordinary steaks like sirloin or round, mostly filet mignon and rib eye. He does have one New York steak. I think it is from the Finger Lakes. He even has a rare 1961 Limousine steak from France.. He keeps his steaks in a climate-controlled cabinet. It looks a lot like a freezer to me. I asked him what his favorite steak was and he told me he is a vegetarian and doesn't eat meat He just collects steaks and uses them to impress his friends. Just like a wine collector, you say.

So, there isn't much here for wine drinkers. Jay Miller, who rates Washington wines, didn't even find my last submission worthy of his palate. Just so many wines and so little time. Eew yuck, an estate-bottled wine. How provincial.

So, we finally have our first 0 (yes, Virginia, that is a zero.)

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